In many ways, understanding my personal values clearly has been a source of relief as these values serve as a sort of 'litmus test' when making otherwise difficult decisions. In other ways, being committed to specific values has also brought some loss in to my life as I have learned how today's world often seems to welcome passivity and avoidance over passion and honesty. Often I have encountered people or institutions that I have respected and trusted to stand idly by as injustices have taken place, under the guise of 'political correctness'. These observances initially confused me, leaving me to feel baffled and pained as I attempted to resolve the conflict within my mind between my initial perception and the eventual reality of these people and institutions. What did it mean about my on-going involvement with them? How did my belief in the importance of self-determination and the ability to speak and think freely in this world impact my belief in advocacy for social justice or the family? When was it time to step in and when was it really none of my business? I am sure that such conflicts of conscious are not new and have likely troubled many others throughout all of human history, and I take comfort in knowing that I am not alone in feeling unclear, knowing that others have faced the same situation and somehow navigated those murky waters. I also have realized that acknowledging the fact that things are not simple and that there truly are some subjects that cannot be swept under the rug, feels much closer to personal honesty and integrity than any of the years I spent avoiding my role in protecting and preserving certain principles in this world.
Ultimately, this internal journey towards personal understanding and growth has lead me to thirst for more information and insight from others who may be able to guide me further- whether clarifying what is best to do- or not to do- in the future. I have become increasingly dedicated to exploring the insight of others through reading blogs, personal observation, questioning, researching areas I have previously been ignorant about to better understand the world around me and so on. It occurred to me that I ought to pursue a discipline of blogging about this process myself- a practice that could invite feedback and potential insight from others while also allowing me a medium to review my progress and perceptions over time. And thus, this blog was born and I am sitting here today writing this, both excited and skeptical about what may come from clicking 'publish' today. I shall click and see..
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